Book Review: The Way of The Superior Man By: David Deida

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In this Book Review I go over 5 main concepts that I have taken that you can apply in your life to live as a more superior man. I also provide passages from the book to supplement the topics being talked about.

Lesson #1: Always Live On Your Purpose/Edge

 

Purpose = Power

A man should always be on his purpose in life. If you do not know what your purpose is then you are not offering the world and people your strongest ability in life. A Man’s main motivation in life is to achieve his full purpose. It does not matter what it is. You could be a professional athlete, therapist, truck driver or a stay-at-home Dad. As long as you spend your life driven towards a goal then you are offering this world your masculine gift.


“Without a conscious life-purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting
to events rather than creating events. Without knowing his life-purpose a
man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming
even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.”

Your Purpose Should Come Before Your Woman

This one might be hard for some of you to agree with or understand, but it is vitally important. Most women will never admit this and they will even say that they want to be the center focus of their man’s life, but they DON’T!!! Your woman was originally attracted to you because of the zeal you had for your career and goals. Do not compromise them for her. If working out is important to you then go to the gym and spend time with her after. A woman will be more satisfied if her man is 100% with her in the moment for 30 minutes rather than 2 hours in lost thought about how he could be doing something else.

 

“Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to
any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his
highest purpose, he weakens himself disserves the universe, and cheats his
woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.”

Lean On Your Edge

Always push yourself into uncomfortable positions. The only way you can grow and become a more Superior Man is if you are always pushing yourself into your edge. Do not stagnate in your career, relationships or with yourself. Comfortability breeds contemptment. When you are leaning into an uncomfortable area with fear present and abound then you know that you are in the right direction. Approach that attractive girl. Don’t argue back in a fight. Do those two extra reps in the gym. Life is too short to be complacent.

 

“In any given moment, a man’s growth is optimized if he leans just
beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear. He should not be too lazy, happily
stagnating in the zone of security and comfort. Nor should he push
far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily, unable to metabolize
his experience. He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and
discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.”

Lesson #2: Women & The World Will Always Test You

 

Face Reality

Women test men from the moment they meet them. If you are saying to yourself that women shouldn’t test men or that there should be a point where they stop testing you then you do not want a quality woman in your life. A quality woman will always test her man because she gets off seeing that he is unphased by her. She doesn’t consciously do this. It is in her nature to test you. She knows that the world will test you and if you can’t pass her simple tests then how can she trust that you will pass the world’s tests to be with her.

A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should  appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.

 

How to Pass Her Tests

There are many ways to pass a woman’s test. The easiest way to teach you is to show you what failing looks like. She wants to see if her little test will make you react and pull you into her state of challenge. Be unreactive. Laugh and say that she is cute. Just don’t let it affect you. If a girl’s opinion of who you are makes you question your own identity then you didn’t know who you were to begin with.

If you are tested by a woman in your relationship then just pick her up off of her feet and swing her around. Give her a big kiss and tell her that you love her. Know that she tests you because she loves you and wants you to pass them in order to become a stronger man. See her tests as opportunities for growth.

 

Do Not Tolerate Your Woman

Your Woman will always have “moods.” It is your gift to change her mood into an open and loving one. If you tolerate and accept that your women’s complaining is just, “Who she is.” then you will end up hating her for that. When she is upset or complaining to you, it is never about what she is saying. Follow the hurt. Understand that she just feels unloved or unappreciated by you. Instead of tolerating her nagging and complaining, try running up to her and licking her on the face or nuzzling her neck like a lion. You will be surprised how fast she changes or forgets her original complaint.

 

“A man gets resentful and frustrated with his woman when he is too
afraid, weak, or unskilled to penetrate her moods and tests into love. He
wishes she were easier to deal with. But it is not entirely her fault that
she is bitchy and complaining. It is also a reflection of her lack of being
penetrated by love. When a man resigns, and simply tolerates his
woman’s self destructive moods, it is a sign of his weakness. His attitude
has become one of wanting to escape women and the world, rather than
wanting to serve women and the world into love. A man shouldn’t tolerate
bitchy and complaining moodiness in his woman, but he should
serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill and perseverance.”

Lesson #3: Understand The Feminine

 

Women Want To Be Lead

I know you may think that you are being “nice” by allowing your woman to choose what restaurant to go to. Woman base decisions off of the emotion they are feeling. She will feel stressed out and uncomfortable making decisions. It is your gift as a Superior Man to let her be in the moment and trust you. When she can relax and just be at ease then she can also be her radiant, fun, loving and happy self. A woman will lose attraction for her man if she has to constantly decide on what to do. She does not want to be your Mommy.

 

“A man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will
always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results.
This expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift. It puts a
woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine. It is good for
some women to learn to animate their masculine capacity to make a
decision and stick with it. But if a man abrogate his responsibility to
provide his woman with the gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness,
then she will become chronically sharp, angular, and distrustful of his
love. She will cease surrendering in love with him, cease trusting his
masculine capacity, and, instead, become her own man.”

Change Her Mood Not Her Mind

A woman will often say and do things that she does not mean. She may say one day that she would love to move in with you and then after one little fight she may say that she will never want to live you. Women change their mind and make their decisions based off of their emotions. Logic doesn’t play much of a role in emotional relationships. You must accept this and use it to your advantage. If she doesn’t want to go to the movies then swing her around and tell her how much she means to you. She will be full of love and gladly go with you.

 

“The feminine moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are
constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source.
No analysis will work. There is no linear chain of cause and effect that
can lead to the kernel of the “problem” There is no problem, only a
storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these
storms are the high and low pressure systems of love. When a woman
feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate into joy, regardless
of the supposed reason for the mood.”

Lesson #4: Find Your Polar Match

 

Opposites Do Attract

Find a women that is your polar opposite in sexuality. What I mean by this is if you are more masculine in essence then a more feminine woman will suit you better. I don’t want you to think that being feminine is a bad trait to have as a man. I am not talking about being “girly.” What David Deida means by feminine and masculine is much different. Being masculine means that you are on your purpose more in life and you make decisions based off of logic. You are also more attracted to the feminine pole. A purely feminine woman is completely attuned into her emotions. A feminine woman changes her mind more often and will sometimes go “crazy” when she is overwhelmed by them. As a masculine man you will be more attracted to this.

 

“If a man is very masculine by nature, then he will be attracted to a very feminine woman, who will compliment his energy. The more neutral or balanced he is, the more balanced he will prefer his woman. If a man is more feminine by nature, his energy will be complemented by the strong direction and purposiveness of a more masculine woman. By understanding their own needs, men can learn to accept the “whole package” of a woman. For instance, a more masculine man can expect that any woman who really turns him on and enlivens him will also be relatively wild, undisciplined, “bonkers,” chaotic, prone to changing her mind and “lying.” Still, from an energetic perspective, this kind of woman will be much more healing and inspiring to him than a more balanced or neutral woman who is steady, reasonable, “trustworthy,” and able to say what she means in a way he can understand.”

 

Lesson #5: Understand The Gift of Love & Freedom

 

A Man’s Ultimate Goal

A Man’s ultimate goal in life to to achieve freedom. You will never fully have this freedom until you die. You will have glimpses of it when you ejaculate, receive a raise, meditate or act in a Flow State. Freedom is freedom from thought. A man is consumed by thought because his masculinity aligns with it. We did this restraint by overcoming challenges and by living in the present moment. After it is over, you will go right back into the next task or goal. This constant pressure and release is what allows for happiness to be maintained. It is a balance that a Superior Man must master.

 

A Woman’s Ultimate Goal

The Woman’s ultimate goal is Love. She will look for love in you above all else. If she feels unloved then she will lose her radiance, divulge her self in gossip and junk food, and look for it elsewhere. A Superior Man knows that love is the ultimate and most precious gift he can give his woman. It is also free. The costs of giving this gift is free and the benefit is more than you can ever compare to anything in this world. To be fully loved by someone you love is what everyone wants. Give your woman more love than she can handle and you will see her in her ultimate happiness.

 

“If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer.”

Get the book here:

The Way of The Superior Man

the way of the superior man - david deida

Check out the video below to see how you can apply these concepts to your life through Dating & Relationships

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