She Will Cheat On You!
The Harsh Truth
A recent survey said that around 57% of men and 54% percent of women admit to physically cheating on their partner at least once in their marriage. Those numbers are not taking into account the number of marriages ending in divorce from infidelity, the higher amount of infidelity among unmarried couples and the number of men and women that lied about cheating. It is no wonder our divorce rate is so high. Why do we cheat? Most sources will tell you that it is because partners are getting bored or that someone cheats to get revenge on their partner for a past indiscretion. My favorite excuse is that one person cheats as a subliminal sign to say that the relationship is over. I think that those are excuses and rationalizations for a deeper and more primitive cause.
Robin Baker, the author of “Sperm Wars” agrees with my hypothesis. His theory on relational infidelity stems from strictly how we evolved. He says that men fall into two possible categories when it comes to mating strategies. You are either a lover (a person that displays positive evolutionarily survival traits) or a provider (a person that has available resources to take care of children). The lover is the alpha male or ladies man. He is usually attractive and dominant in social interactions. The provider is the white knight beta male. He will try to win women over by buying her drinks or flowers and by taking out on fancy dates.
Many evolutionary psychologists say that a women will find a provider to take care of her and her children and then cheat on that provider during her ovulation period with lovers to ensure her child has the best genes possible. I know, that sounds pretty messed up! One study even reported that one in ten kids are being raised by a father that is not theirs. Baker has the same statistic in his book. So the men just need to pay extra attention to women when they’re ovulating right? Well, can you remember the last time you knew a girl was in “heat”.
Female humans are one of the only mammals that conceal periods of ovulation. Not only that, but studies by Gangestad showed that when women were ovulating they even purposely fought more with their provider boyfriends and found them less attractive. Chemical changes in their body literally change the way they think. So does this mean that your girlfriend or wife has already or will eventually cheat on you? Is there no point in being in a monogamous relationship?
The Bright Side
This may seem like a harsh bit of reality to accept.What you have to realize is that not all women will cheat. There are women out there that are honest and see that cheating is never okay. Plus, women run the risk getting a disease, isolating themselves and going through emotional trauma from cheating on a partner. The cons far outweigh the pros. Do not make yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy where you cause your partner to cheat or just give up and say, “Well if she is going to cheat then so should I.” I’ve done that and it sucks. Don’t live your life in fear.
If you set up boundaries in your relationship and are faithful yourself then your partner is not going to risk losing you over a one-night affair. Even if she loses some bit of rationality in times of heat, she won’t risk losing you if you are worth it. Set up your relationship with honesty and trust. If you treat her as you want to be treated then everything will be okay.
Be The Best of Both Worlds
You can also be both a provider and a lover. If you work on yourself and your purpose then you’ll be able to possess both characteristics. This will make you a perfect 10 in her eyes and she’d be crazy and not worth it to risk losing you.