Let’s have fun! This is why we go out at the end of the week, right? So why does it seem like so many people can’t do it anymore? I often go out and see countless people on the outskirts of the dance floor carrying sad looks on their faces. I have spoken to many girls that just stand near a wall with their arms crossed, dealing with RBF (aka ‘Resting Bitch Face’). How does this happen – especially when there used to be a point in our lives where the simplest of things would constantly excite us?
Life’s Simple Pleasures
I worked with kids in almost every job that I have had. The one thing that adults can learn from them is to have fun. It is effortless for children to find happiness in the most seemingly boring activities. Do any of you ever remember getting a large empty box that transformed into your home base to defend against the alien invaders? How about running around in the sprinklers while screaming at the top of your lungs? What is it about children that gives them this awe, wonder, and amazement at the most mundane of situations?
The Indifference Threshold
What it all boils down to is that adolescents do not care about what others think about them. It does not bother them about how others perceive them. Societal pressure about how to behave in public hasn’t taken it’s death-grip hold over their minds. They have not developed their ego yet. In fact, most brains don’t fully develop til around age 25! So for them, there is no model or comparison to others. Why is it so important for us to let go of our own ego?
In past articles, I’ve discussed how what our Ego is and how it affects our flow state. When you are not caring about what other are thinking, then you are able to just let go and have fun. You are living fully in the present moment and cause others get sucked into your own happy state. When a girl views that you are just having fun and do not care about what she thinks, then she will see you as different from every other guy she knows. Too many Men try to impress the girl through the lens of their ego.
“Look how much money I have.”
“I can buy you a drink.”
“I do ___ for a living.”
Trust me when I say, she has heard it all before. When a guy is bringing the party to the girl then she wants to become a part of your party. She will want to be around you more and get to know you.
“Everyone is bored and in a walking daze because their ego has taken over. They are looking for material things (Money, clothes, car, etc) to make them happy and they are reaching for an outcome, when the process (life) and happiness is a default state. If you can be a grounding energy that is different, unstiffled, self amused and having fun in life with your default self-esteem and no ego attached, people will fall into your reality because they want someone to let them be that way. Be happy in the moment, which is a huge value giver and non needy. Never Seek Value. Create your own value and amusement in life.”
How is it possible to just have fun and let go? I will give you two tips on how to not care about what others are thinking about you:
Tip 1: Entertain Yourself
Instead of going up to a girl or group of women thinking how you can impress them, think of how you can amuse yourself. Say things that make you laugh, and that you find interesting. The more you come from this frame of mind, the more easily the girl will get sucked into your reality and like you. Focusing on having fun yourself will also help you to let go of what the girl is thinking. You will think more to yourself, “What can I do to make this interaction awesome?” Instead of thinking “how can I impress her?” This is a big difference in mental frame. You will start to say to yourself, “Is this girl fun enough for me?” – It puts you into an abundance mindset. This means that you are the prize and she has to try and work for your attention and approval. It is what some people call “Flipping the script.” The girl is no longer on an unreachable pedestal. She is a normal human being like you and you are able to treat her like one.
Coming from this point of view will separate you from 99% of other guys. Most men treat attractive women like they are objects to be gained. If you no longer try to impress an attractive female, then she will become impressed by you. It is one of the many Paradoxes in our dating dynamic.
Act A Fool
You are not James Bond or Casanova. How often do you think acting ‘Suave’ really works? If it worked then most men would be great with women. This is because that is the attitude most men try to adopt when talking to women. It is honestly really creepy to them. Women are human beings too, each with their own insecurities and goofiness. When you’re “acting like Bond,” it shows too much sexual intent with no fun involved. Women want to have fun, and if you aren’t then they won’t want to be around you.
A way to pass the threshold of indifference is to just be silly. Actively try and act like a clown. Trust me – it will be hard at first, but once you realize that people don’t care then you will be able to be happy and free. You can do this by jumping on the dance floor and start to dance like a maniac possessed by the Mad Hatter. Let loose! You do not need alcohol to do this, either. Scream as loud as you want, recite a crazy chant, tap into your animal instincts. As the famous Bay Area rapper Mac Dre once said, “Act Stupid!” The most successful ladies’ men have this quality. They do not care what others think. Why should you? Uninstalling yourself will bring about a new and contagious energy that people will want to be a part of. The more you do it, the easier it will become.
Let us know in the comments what you think!
Below is an example of me showing you how to act like an idiot in the club to unstiffle yourself: